<---- Me and "Spanking Diaz"
Ok some of you are acquainted with my hubby aka Pooh so none of this will come as a surprise. For those of you who are not acquainted with Pooh, I apologize in advance.
This afternoon Pooh came swanning in to my room, dressed in his usual attire of tattered tighty-whities and a smug, sleazy smile. He stands in front of me in what I can only assume is a pose he had seen watching a cheap seventies porno and states the following in a Spanish accent he most likely heard from the same movie.
“Eello, I am Don Juan but ju may new me as Spanking Diaz. Si, ZE Spanking Diaz. Please, do nut come too cloze, I know thes is `ard for ju, I am world vamous porn star. I `ave been ze luver to meny women but belong to nun.”
He then proceeds to pose like a playboy bunny on the foot of my bed and continues this monologue;
“I new ju are overcomzs with ze dezire for a taste of my `ot latin lurv. Ju covet my speztatular and muzcular buddocks and long to become cloze friends with my loins. *insert sleezy smile here* “Alas Ju are too let, ny ‘eart as been captured by ze stunning and lurvery Meme, she is ze womens I vas ment to lurve for all eternity.”
At which point he leaves me, stunned speechless, and returns to his cave. Honestly, I am not sure if I could be afraid or flattered.